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"Mosey" is Not a Speed...  
"Mosey" is Not a Speed...
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I don  
I don't brake.
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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance  
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
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I drive the speed limit. If you don  
I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop!
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A Prius Mind in a Hummer World  
A Prius Mind in a Hummer World
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.  
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Am I Driving Too Slow? CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT  
Am I Driving Too Slow? CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT
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I may be slow but I  
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
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Are you as close to Jesus as you are to my bumper?  
Are you as close to Jesus as you are to my bumper?
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I might be driving slowly, but I  
I might be driving slowly, but I'm still in front of you.
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Are you having phone sex, or do you always drive that way?  
Are you having phone sex, or do you always drive that way?
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I Stop for Red Lights  
I Stop for Red Lights
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Are you trying to sniff my butt? BACK OFF!!!  
Are you trying to sniff my butt? BACK OFF!!!
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I Swerve to Hit People at Random!  
I Swerve to Hit People at Random!
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As a matter of fact, I do own the road  
As a matter of fact, I do own the road
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.  
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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BACK OFF  
BACK OFF
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandmother Not screaming in terror like her passengers  
I want to die in my sleep like my grandmother Not screaming in terror like her passengers
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BACK OFF !!!! I RECEIVED AN "A" IN ROAD RAGE  
BACK OFF !!!! I RECEIVED AN "A" IN ROAD RAGE
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I  
I'm just driving this way to piss you off
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Back off I  
Back off I'm a Postal worker
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I  
I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
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Back Off Or I Will Flush  
Back Off Or I Will Flush
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I  
I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over.
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BACK OFF! I Don  
BACK OFF! I Don't Run Yellow Lights
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I  
I'm not driving fast Just flying low
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Back off! I  
Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
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I  
I'm Not Lost I'm Exploring
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Bad Ass Ladies Don  
Bad Ass Ladies Don't Drive Mercedes!
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I  
I'm not speeding I'm qualifying
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Bad Cop No Doughnuts  
Bad Cop No Doughnuts
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I  
I'm not speeding. I'm just qualifying.
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BEND OVER I  
BEND OVER I'LL DRIVE
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I  
I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting!
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Bet Jesus Didn  
Bet Jesus Didn't Talk on His Cellphone While He Drove
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If I Lived Here I  
If I Lived Here I'd Be Home By Now
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Bettcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was as Dirty as This Car  
Bettcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was as Dirty as This Car
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If it  
If it's a Centerline Why do I Have to Drive On One Side?
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Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you from your car  
Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you from your car
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If That Phone Was Stuck Up Your A** Would You Drive Any Better?  
If That Phone Was Stuck Up Your A** Would You Drive Any Better?
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CAUTION Driver is Psycho  
CAUTION Driver is Psycho
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If That Phone Was Stuck Up Your Ass Would You Drive Any Better?  
If That Phone Was Stuck Up Your Ass Would You Drive Any Better?
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CAUTION DRIVER SINGING  
CAUTION DRIVER SINGING
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If this car is being driven courteously it  
If this car is being driven courteously it's been stolen.
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Caution I swerve to hit cars at random  
Caution I swerve to hit cars at random
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If You Are Going to Tailgate PARK FIRST!  
If You Are Going to Tailgate PARK FIRST!
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CAUTION! Driver just doesn  
CAUTION! Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore!
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If you are psychic, think  
If you are psychic, think 'HONK'
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CAUTION! I brake for tailgaters  
CAUTION! I brake for tailgaters
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If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue you  
If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue you
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CAUTION! I drive just like you!  
CAUTION! I drive just like you!
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If you can read this I can slam on my brakes and sue you!  
If you can read this I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
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Caution! Will brake for tailgaters  
Caution! Will brake for tailgaters
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If you can read this I  
If you can read this I'm not going fast enough.
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CAUTION: DRIVER HAS ISSUES  
CAUTION: DRIVER HAS ISSUES
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If you can read this I  
If you can read this I've lost my trailer
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CAUTION: Teenager has keys and wants to use them!  
CAUTION: Teenager has keys and wants to use them!
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If you can read this There  
If you can read this There's someone in front of me
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Clear the road, I am SIXTEEN!  
Clear the road, I am SIXTEEN!
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If You Can Read This You Are Probably Speeding  
If You Can Read This You Are Probably Speeding
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Come closer and tell me about it!  
Come closer and tell me about it!
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If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you!  
If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you!
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Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?  
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
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If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.  
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.
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Cover me! I  
Cover me! I'm changing lanes
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If you can read this, thank your teacher  
If you can read this, thank your teacher
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Did you check if your horn works?  
Did you check if your horn works?
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If you can read this, you are in phaser range.  
If you can read this, you are in phaser range.
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Do you think you could drive any better with that car phone stuck up your BUTT?  
Do you think you could drive any better with that car phone stuck up your BUTT?
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If you can read this, you are inquisitive  
If you can read this, you are inquisitive
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Don  
Don't Drive on my Ass, and You'll Save Lots of Gas
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If you can read this, you are too close!  
If you can read this, you are too close!
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Don  
Don't follow me, I'm lost!
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If you can read this, you  
If you can read this, you're driving too close
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Don  
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.
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If you can  
If you can't see my mirrors, it means I've hit another cyclist
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Don  
Don't hit me My lawyer's in jail
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If you don  
If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk
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Don  
Don't hit me My lawyer's in jail
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If you don  
If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
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Don  
Don't Laugh, It's Paid For
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If you don  
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
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Don  
Don't like my driving... Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.
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If you don  
If you don't like the way I'm driving, You come and get these handcuffs off!
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Don  
Don't like my driving? Then QUIT watching me.
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If you get any closer, you  
If you get any closer, you'd better have a condom
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Don  
Don't make me come back there and smack you with my bumper
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If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi!  
If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi!
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Drive carefully! Remember, it  
Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker
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IF YOU RIDE MY ASS You Better Be Pulling My Hair  
IF YOU RIDE MY ASS You Better Be Pulling My Hair
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Drive carefully, we need every taxpayer we can get.  
Drive carefully, we need every taxpayer we can get.
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If you think I  
If you think I'm a lousy driver Wait until you see me putt
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DRIVE CLOSER I need a new car  
DRIVE CLOSER I need a new car
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If your bumper sticker wasn  
If your bumper sticker wasn't so damned small, I wouldn't have to drive so close to read it!
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Drive defensively Buy a tank  
Drive defensively Buy a tank
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In a few years I  
In a few years I'll be tall enough to see over the wheel.
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Drive It Like You Stole It!  
Drive It Like You Stole It!
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It  
It's not my fault I'm the only one in the world who knows how to drive right
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Driver naked from the waist down  
Driver naked from the waist down
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Judgement Day is Near Even Nearer if I Slam on My Brakes  
Judgement Day is Near Even Nearer if I Slam on My Brakes
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Drivers Like You Are Why They Make Uzis  
Drivers Like You Are Why They Make Uzis
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Keep honking, I  
Keep honking, I'm deaf!
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Ever had a loaded weapon pointed at you? Keep honking.  
Ever had a loaded weapon pointed at you? Keep honking.
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Keep Honking, I  
Keep Honking, I'm Reloading
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Ever seen an UZI fired from a car window?  
Ever seen an UZI fired from a car window?
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My Broom Stick Gets 25 MPG... 28 in a Rain Forest  
My Broom Stick Gets 25 MPG... 28 in a Rain Forest
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Follow your dreams, not me  
Follow your dreams, not me
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My car does all the driving I just sit in here  
My car does all the driving I just sit in here
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Forget About World Peace Visualize Using Your Turn Signal  
Forget About World Peace Visualize Using Your Turn Signal
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My Hummer Can Crush Your Prius  
My Hummer Can Crush Your Prius
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Forget About World Peace Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!  
Forget About World Peace Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
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My job drives me to drink. If it wasn  
My job drives me to drink. If it wasn't for that, I'd QUIT!
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Friends Don  
Friends Don't Let Friends Apex Early
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My Lug Nuts Require More Torque Than Your Honda Generates  
My Lug Nuts Require More Torque Than Your Honda Generates
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Get in - buckle up - shut up - and hold on!  
Get in - buckle up - shut up - and hold on!
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My Prius Accelerates Faster Than Your SUV  
My Prius Accelerates Faster Than Your SUV
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Get off my ass before I start to like it!  
Get off my ass before I start to like it!
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My SUV gets 25 MPG 28 in a Rainforest  
My SUV gets 25 MPG 28 in a Rainforest
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Get off my tail or I  
Get off my tail or I'll flick boogers on your windshield!
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My Wife  
My Wife's Other Car Is A Broom!
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Give Me Some Space BACK OFF!  
Give Me Some Space BACK OFF!
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Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly  
Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly
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Go ahead and honk I  
Go ahead and honk I'm reloading!
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Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger please.  
Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger please.
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Go on, I  
Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.
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Next time, why don  
Next time, why don't you try waving with all your fingers.
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Hang Up And Drive!  
Hang Up And Drive!
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Nice Cell Phone Hope It Gives You a Brain Tumor  
Nice Cell Phone Hope It Gives You a Brain Tumor
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He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.  
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
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Nice front bumper you  
Nice front bumper you've got there Shame if something happened to it...
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Hello officer Put it on my tab  
Hello officer Put it on my tab
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Officer, will this sticker saying SUPPORT LAW ENFORCEMENT stop you from giving me a ticket?  
Officer, will this sticker saying SUPPORT LAW ENFORCEMENT stop you from giving me a ticket?
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Hey jerk! You are driving a car, not a phone booth  
Hey jerk! You are driving a car, not a phone booth
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On the New Jersey Turnpike, NO ONE can hear you scream!  
On the New Jersey Turnpike, NO ONE can hear you scream!
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Hey You Butt Sniffing Pervert... BACK OFF!!!  
Hey You Butt Sniffing Pervert... BACK OFF!!!
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Pardon my driving, I  
Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
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High beams were made to piss people off  
High beams were made to piss people off
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Park Elsewhere Stupidity is not a Handicap  
Park Elsewhere Stupidity is not a Handicap
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Honk all you want. I  
Honk all you want. I'm deaf!
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PASS WITH CARE Driver Chewing Tobbaco  
PASS WITH CARE Driver Chewing Tobbaco
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Honk If ... You Speak English  
Honk If ... You Speak English
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Please do not honk. Driver trying to sleep.  
Please do not honk. Driver trying to sleep.
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HONK IF ... You Speak English  
HONK IF ... You Speak English
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Please! One traffic violation at a time  
Please! One traffic violation at a time
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Honk if anything falls off  
Honk if anything falls off
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Prevent death on the road Drive on the pavement  
Prevent death on the road Drive on the pavement
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HONK If Parts Fall Off  
HONK If Parts Fall Off
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Put Down That Cell Phone And Drive!  
Put Down That Cell Phone And Drive!
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HONK if The Bitch Fell Off  
HONK if The Bitch Fell Off
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Real Chicks Drive Sticks  
Real Chicks Drive Sticks
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HONK If You Are Elvis  
HONK If You Are Elvis
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Really want to eat my bumper for dessert?... My brakes will help you!  
Really want to eat my bumper for dessert?... My brakes will help you!
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Honk If You Are God  
Honk If You Are God
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Road Rage Really Pisses Me Off  
Road Rage Really Pisses Me Off
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HONK IF YOU ARE ILLITERATE  
HONK IF YOU ARE ILLITERATE
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SHORT, BALD, & UGLY AND I  
SHORT, BALD, & UGLY AND I'M IN FRONT OF YOU
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Honk If You Are Just A Honker.  
Honk If You Are Just A Honker.
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SMILE!!! You  
SMILE!!! You're on Radar...
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Honk if you don  
Honk if you don't have a horn
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So many pedestrians. So little time!  
So many pedestrians. So little time!
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Honk If You Got It Last Night  
Honk If You Got It Last Night
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Someday we  
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car
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Honk if you hate living  
Honk if you hate living
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Sona si latine loqueris  
Sona si latine loqueris
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Honk If You Hate Noise Pollution  
Honk If You Hate Noise Pollution
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Ssshhhh! Driver Asleep  
Ssshhhh! Driver Asleep
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Honk if you like peace and quiet  
Honk if you like peace and quiet
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STOP - Squeal Tires On Pavement  
STOP - Squeal Tires On Pavement
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Honk if you love cheese  
Honk if you love cheese
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Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph.  
Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph.
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Honk if You Love Cheese Heads  
Honk if You Love Cheese Heads
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Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.  
Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
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Honk If You Love God!  
Honk If You Love God!
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Stop reading this bumper sticker and watch the road!!!  
Stop reading this bumper sticker and watch the road!!!
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Honk if you love Isis  
Honk if you love Isis
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Stop signs with white borders are optional  
Stop signs with white borders are optional
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HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS  
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS
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STUDENT DRIVER  
STUDENT DRIVER
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Honk if you love me  
Honk if you love me
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Student Driver Parent Impaled on Front Bumper  
Student Driver Parent Impaled on Front Bumper
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Honk If You Love Peace & Quiet  
Honk If You Love Peace & Quiet
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Stupidity is not a handicap Park elsewhere!  
Stupidity is not a handicap Park elsewhere!
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Honk if you love peace and quiet  
Honk if you love peace and quiet
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Support your State Troopers Drive Really Fast  
Support your State Troopers Drive Really Fast
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HONK If You Love Peace And Quiet  
HONK If You Love Peace And Quiet
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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire  
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire
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Honk if you see something fall off  
Honk if you see something fall off
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The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere!  
The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere!
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Honk if you Tonky  
Honk if you Tonky
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The Smaller the Mind The Bigger the SUV  
The Smaller the Mind The Bigger the SUV
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Honk If You Want To See My Finger.  
Honk If You Want To See My Finger.
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There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.  
There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
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Honk If You  
Honk If You're Co-Dependent!
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Think Globally Park Somewhere Else  
Think Globally Park Somewhere Else
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Honk If You  
Honk If You're Horny!
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Too Close For Missles Switching to Guns  
Too Close For Missles Switching to Guns
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Honk If You  
Honk If You're Illiterate!
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Traffic Camera$ are for Your $afety  
Traffic Camera$ are for Your $afety
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Honk if you  
Honk if you're not wearing underwear!
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Two wrongs don  
Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.
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Honk if you  
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window!
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Unless you  
Unless you're a hemorrhoid, get off my ass!
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Honk If You  
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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WARNING DRIVER FLUNKED ANGER MANAGEMENT  
WARNING DRIVER FLUNKED ANGER MANAGEMENT
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Honk if... You Love Silence  
Honk if... You Love Silence
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WARNING Driver More Stubborn Than Their Teenager  
WARNING Driver More Stubborn Than Their Teenager
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Honk if... You Want a Brake Check  
Honk if... You Want a Brake Check
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WARNING RECEIVED AN "A" IN ROAD RAGE  
WARNING RECEIVED AN "A" IN ROAD RAGE
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Honk if... You want me to slow up some more  
Honk if... You want me to slow up some more
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Warning Rice Krispies in control of driver  
Warning Rice Krispies in control of driver
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Honky if you Tonky  
Honky if you Tonky
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Warning Tailgaters Driver Chews Tobacco  
Warning Tailgaters Driver Chews Tobacco
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Horn Broken Watch For Finger  
Horn Broken Watch For Finger
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Warning! I intentionally run over small, furry animals.  
Warning! I intentionally run over small, furry animals.
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Horn broken Watch for finger  
Horn broken Watch for finger
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Watch out for the idiot behind me  
Watch out for the idiot behind me
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Horn not working, Watch for hand signals  
Horn not working, Watch for hand signals
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WE  
WE'VE TRAVELED TO ALL 50 STATES
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How is My Driving? Call My Dad (999) 555-1212  
How is My Driving? Call My Dad (999) 555-1212
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When everything  
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
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How  
How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SH*T
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Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?  
Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?
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How  
How's my driving?.. Pray!
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Wizard Wagon Tailgaters will be toad!  
Wizard Wagon Tailgaters will be toad!
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I am driving this way because I want to PISS YOU OFF!  
I am driving this way because I want to PISS YOU OFF!
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive  
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
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I am NOT Waving It  
I am NOT Waving It's The Finger!
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.  
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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I Brake For No Apparent Reason  
I Brake For No Apparent Reason
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You Tailgate -- I Flush  
You Tailgate -- I Flush
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I brake for tailgaters. Hard.  
I brake for tailgaters. Hard.
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You  
You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.
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I brake for... wait... AAAH!... NO BRAKES!!!  
I brake for... wait... AAAH!... NO BRAKES!!!
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You  
You're the reason God created the middle finger.
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